A FORMER altar boy says he was sexually abused by a Catholic priest in Dumbarton and told he would “burn in Hell” if he spoke of the attacks.

Jim Lawn, 54, waived his anonymity to make the allegations against Father John Gowans.

From the age of eight, Jim said, he was raped and beaten over a three-year period in the 1970s at St Patrick’s Church in the town.

But he claims that when he finally opened up to his deeply religious parents, they shunned him as “their loyalty was to the Church”.

Gowans, now deceased, is believed to have been sent to a parish in Aberdeen while Jim and his family were living overseas.

Jim, from Dumbarton, has now started a legal action against the Catholic Church, in which he is understood to be seeking a six-figure sum – and says he hopes other survivors will be inspired to take action.

He said: “Fr Gowans told me I’d burn in Hell if I refused him or spoke out.

“If telling the truth is worthy of Hell, then I wonder where he ended up?

“You never stop feeling like a victim and you never stop suffering – but if you talk to someone you at least don’t need to do it alone.”

Jim claimed the life-changing attacks started in 1972 when he attended mass as an altar boy – once on a Sunday and once mid-week.

Jim, in his account, said he was the only boy around in midweek, and after the service, he said, Gowans would lead him to the sacristy – a private room for preparing mass.

Jim said he would then be abused and beaten – all before heading off to primary school.

Describing the first alleged attack, he said: “He [Gowans] took me into a toilet just off the corridor leading from the sacristy to the church.

“In a very short space of time it went from initial touching to a full attack.

“I was terrified and completely powerless to stop any of it.

“They nearly all happened like this and it happened nearly every week for two or three years.”

Gowans, believed to be in his 40s at the time of the abuse, is said to have taken steps to cover his tracks, such as locking doors.

Jim added: “He was very cold and organised about what he did.

“I knew what he was doing was wrong but I was simply too scared to tell anyone.”

Jim said that when he reached the age of 10, his father’s work took him to Saudi Arabia for one year which brought an element of peace.

But the youngster was still reeling from the attacks in the form of panic attacks, sleepless nights and the fear of noises or being left alone.

The family returned to Dumbarton just before Jim started at St Aloysius’ College in Glasgow.

Shortly after arriving back in the town, the family learned Gowans was moved to a diocese in Aberdeen.

Jim said: “At the time I just felt relieved that I wouldn’t have to see him again.

“Looking back it seems unusual for a priest to be moved from one diocese to another – especially so far away.

“I do wonder to this day if there were complaints made about him at the time that led to the move.”

Jim revealed the torment of his past massively affected his early adult years.

He said: “I lost my faith in my early 20s and stopped going to mass.

“I believed I could use my past as a motivator to help others, so tried a career in social work, but it caused flashbacks and I couldn’t cope.

“I married and had two children, who are now grown up, but the marriage ended after seven years and we divorced in 2001.

“I learned to bottle up, and I think this strained the marriage to breaking point because my wife and kids didn’t know about this at the time – I could only reveal it to them around five years ago.

“I’ve had a few relationships since then but they never last – I just can’t bring myself to be close to people.”

In the early 2000s the build-up of emotions and flashbacks resulted in Jim thinking about ending his life.

It was during this time, he says, he opened up to his GP and to his parents, which he sadly regrets.

He added: “I can remember walking home after being out at the pub and thinking that I didn’t really care if I was killed on the way home.

“Not long after telling my GP, I told my parents. But they wouldn’t accept it.

“We’re talking about people of a generation that grew up being told to never question the Church, so their first loyalty seemed to be to the Church and Fr Gowans rather than me.

“I still don’t speak to them to this day. I hope one day they can see the impact this has had and accept the truth for what it is.

“I finally told my siblings around 2011; however, the only one who has been supportive is my younger sister, who even supported me when her husband recently passed away from cancer.

“If it weren’t for her and my close network of friends I don’t know how I’d have got this far.”

Jim was diagnosed in 2012 with a catalogue of mental health issues which experts believe affected his entire life.

Kim Leslie, specialist abuse lawyer and partner at Digby Brown Solicitors, said: “We are pursuing a civil action against the Catholic Church in relation to historic abuse perpetrated by Father John Gowans.

“The passage of time, and indeed the passing of abusers, does not mean those who are responsible are absolved of responsibility for such horrendous actions.”

A spokesman for the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Glasgow told the Reporter: “It is difficult to respond adequately to allegations of serious crimes dating back almost 50 years when legal proceedings are active and the alleged abuser is dead. Fr John Gowans died in July 1999.

“The crimes described in these allegations are appalling. The Church, its bishops, priests and people are truly sorry for what has happened to all those who have suffered any kind of abuse.

“Archbishop Tartaglia has apologised repeatedly on behalf of the Church of today for the failures and crimes of the past.

“That apology is sincere and heartfelt and is extended to anyone who suffered at the hands of Fr Gowans or any other representative of the Church.

“Lessons have been learned from the past. We cannot make up for the pain of survivors, but we are determined to ensure that young people today and tomorrow will be safe and secure in the care of the Church.”