INFIDELITY - when bad judgement meets opportunity? Monogamy - an affectionate utopia? Or more of a boredom-filled purgatory? All in all quite a touchy subject for debate.

To cheat or not to cheat - that is the question.

I’m no Tiger Woods, but admittedly, I’ve been unfaithful many times.

Mainly because I’ve been bored, and yes, as warped as this may sound, at the same time I’ve been wary of being the one to end the ennui-ridden relationship for fear of hurting the other person.

Perhaps in this country we need to re-appraise our attitudes to fidelity though, now that we are living longer and vows have to cover as much as half a century. Perhaps I should find myself a taller version of Olivier Martinez and up sticks to France where many have no trouble accommodating affairs. In fact, they regard adultery as an occupational hazard. If you’re lucky enough never to get bored with your partner, warmest congratulations. If not, there’s no shame in looking outside your marriage. It works in France because the French don’t expect total honesty from their partners. In fact, they believe honesty can be downright destructive. But where do you draw that fateful line? It’s so easy and fun to chat to friends, even old flames on Facebook et al. It can take little effort to fall into virtual, emotional relationships with people too, which for some is the biggest betrayal.

So disclosure. Do you spill the beans? I think generally honesty is the best policy, but admitting to an affair can be described as selfish. Relief is sought in a similar way to going to confession, but is true penance living with the secret yourself? And redirecting yourself to making your relationship work? It is important to examine your motives for disclosing.

Are you doing it to unburden yourself from guilt? Your partner is maybe not the right person to help you with this.

Perhaps what you don’t know really can’t hurt you? To err is human, to forgive is divine?

A breach of trust can be difficult to repair - sometimes impossible.

Can anything that’s broken be put back together perfectly, with no signs of previous trauma?

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil - I’ll just remain single for the moment then. Bigamy is having one husband too many. But I think monogamy might be the same.

If you’re going through a tough time with this issue, try reading the near-classic that is After the Affair by Janis Abrahms Spring and Michael Spring. (Make it is the the latest edition.)